Thieves in a posh apartment complex!

 Today morning, the security guard in my apartment came up to my huband (who is the president of the Owner's association) and told that 6 thieves had come in the dead of the night. They had tried to steal things. Hearing some sound, the night watchman went to see what was up. Seeing him they ran away across the compund taking some of the loot and leaving back some. What was the loot? -They took a metal hatch/ covering, left behind some clothes and a plastic chair. This was the stuff they could lay hands on and out of which they took the most valuable one.

Soon after the association got into a swing, established links with people who could put a taller fence / raise the compound wall, put in CCTV cameras, etc.

Who are these people who came inside the compound to steal? Looking at what they were trying to steal, it is quite obvious that they were amateurs, desperate men trying to get their hands on whatever they can, maybe make a quick buck. It is quite evident that the thieves dont rely on this for a living, simply because it is insufficient for a living. Also for such small thefts, they are unlikely to have paid for transport and come from a distance (rember the cost of petrol!). These are more likely to be some desperate men from the neighbourhood. 

As I say that these must have been men from the neighbouhood, it would sound illogical to a westerner, because I say in the title that this is a posh apartment building. But an Indian would have no problem in grasping the situation. Why? Every Inidan knows that there are ghettos next to posh areas. Slums, construction sites, you name it. 

This isolated, yet side by side living very poor and the very rich is what hits me hard!

In India , every rich neighbourhood has a poor neighbourhood nearby from where blue collared workers often come to work in the rich homes. These people from the ghetto often are very jealous. Though they behave quite well most of the time, at times, like when they are drunk, or hard hit by poverty, they are prone to letting out these jealousies through acts of violence, theft, stone thorwing, etc. To say that they are violent people is to get the perspective completely wrong.

Most likely, anyother person, you or me are also likely to be doing similar things in simlar situations. Most often, the rich in these situations, know that they are richer and could become rich more easily that these 'other' people. The presence of the poor, reminds one of what things can become if they dont do whatever they are doing to be rich. Their presence reminds them, that they are not doing anything to alleviate this condition and causes guilt. The desperateness of the poor, makes them fearful of the poor. Without having guts to face this situation, they repress this entire problem into the uncounscious. Acting out of ununderstood fear, they dominate and are tyrannical with their servants.

Treating them as less than humans is another common expression of this unconscious process. Fearing them, we project all our anger and violence on them. We think that we are not generally angry, we are not generally violent but 'these  people' are angry, violent, they have carnal desires, have animal tendencies and so on. Every one of us has a portion of these tendencies just like them. Instead of owning them, we project it on them. We conlude that they have these 'animal' tendencies, we are more refined. So we are the helpless victims, we need to protect ourselves with taller walls and fences, employ other people (from the same poor community) to protect us. As if we are in the wilderness surrounded by wild animals.

How much of it is a fear of beast within us? How much of it an act of repression of our guilt?

Life and Balance

Everybody is aware of the great divide that exists in India. India and Bharat. A lot has been said on this. Many lamentations.
This time I am getting to experience it first hand.
Do you belong to India or Bharat?

I am working in both. I am working in a start up which is taking on the idea and technology of an NGO and creating a business model to make it into a profitable venture and thus invite resources and grow. On one side of me is the people from the rural based NGO and on the other the enthusiastic people from modern India. Their language, attitudes, motivations, methods of working are so different.
One does it out of a desire to help people, improve their lives, evangelize the program, etc. In the process he gives away patentable technology in ways that don't help to grow. He will never have enough money to invest into R and D, to expand, publicize, etc. Often leaves a less than happy experience for the customer because of lack of professionalism.
On the other hand are the VCs and the architects of the growth of modern India. These people work in the IT age. Everything on the net, laptops in hand, PPTs, excel sheets.. They have the vision to think big and risk big too. They bring in the efficiency that gives cutting edge to any organisation. But where is the heart? The heart that beats and has a place in a person's life. The heart in you and the heart that recognizes the emotions of the person opposite. Professionalism can some time take the spirit out of an initiative.

For me, I am part of both the worlds. I have a heart that speaks the loudest and a brain that takes over the execution of tasks. I cannot live without either of them. I am a part of both the worlds. Living in one without the other is an incomplete life.

Taking on from this I talked to a couple of people in IT companies. They slog hard, close to burn out point. If they spend their weekends in the malls everytime, life becomes automatised in no time. No spirit left.
The change comes when, they do some other things like - nature activites - trekking, travel, photography, bird watching or social service activities like volunteering time with children, etc.
Unless one can balance one extreme, harmony is lost.
The bridge between the 2 worlds is in us.

What do we see? Images, Perceptions or Persons

I heard a statement in a movie once - The real magic is in the mind of the people. People don't see past the illusions because, they don't want to.
Think of this after seeing a kid's magic show or an optical illusion.

With respect to people also, do we see people as they are or we impose on them what we want to see, thus ending up seeing what we want to see rather than what is?
Thinking of all the people, particularly the people one is often close to, I think, we often have a fixed perception of that person, often based on the role they perform like mother, wife, husband, daughter, boss, HR manager, trainer, teacher, etc. This prevents us from seeing the person as a person with all the attributes of that individual himself or herself

Experiment - Think of your mother. What words come to mind? love, care, concern, nagging, patience, grace, etc?
Try imagining how she would have been as young lady, bubbling? giggling? full of energy? beautiful? hot? sexy? how would she have attracted attention of the boys?
'Aint it difficult to imagine?!
But unless one sees her as an individual who has all the parts any normal individual has, wouldn't we be living in an illusion. Would our relationship be with that person or our concept of that person?
I believe that if the relationship with person, one would be able to accept the variations, different parts of that person, basically the entire person. Consequently, one could get more from the relationship, things one did not expect too.
On the other hand if one builds a relationship with an incomplete image, it is bound to take huge beatings, and will take huge and continuous effort on both parties to maintain that image.

Carl Jung worked a lot on this - the Anima and Animus of men and women respectively, i.e Anima - the image of woman in the man and the Animus - the image of man in the woman
According to him, a man would have an image of women in his mind built by his experience of women (like mother). He would then typically search for a woman who is closest to this image and then impose this image on her. Effectively, his relationship would be with this image that he has developed and not with that person. It is of course vice versa with women.

What he encouraged was to learn more of one's own shadow (anima or animus), relate with it. This would automatically decrease the need to impose the shadow on the spouse. One can then build a relationship with the actual person which is 100 times more satisfying.

That sounds a long journey!
Wikipedia on Carl Jung' s Anima and Animus
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anima_(Jung)#Levels_of_animus_development

Ride of Life

How does this picture look like? To me it looks like GET A KICK RIDING A ROUGH RIDE! Thats life - A Rough Ride. The fun comes when you are able to sit back and know that you will survive the ride! And there is nothing like it if you can find a partner to enjoy the ride with!

Thats what fun is about for me. Face the challenges in life knowing that you will survive the crisis, face it with someone you are close to, then it is FUN!

So ENJOY MAADI!

5 min Delay!

As I said in my previous post, I spent a relaxing time in my hometown which is kind of sleepy and laid back.

I came back today morning. I climb into the local bus to my home from the bus stand early in the morning. Because it is early the bus is going to take me home in about 1/3rd of the usual time, yet I become impatient because the conductor is taking about 5 min giving out the tickets before starting. Just think of this, my bus comes about an hour and a half earlier than it is supposed to, because it is early in the day I save an additional hour avoiding the rush hour traffic and I am becoming Impatient because of the 5 min delay because the conductor is being meticulous! This coming immediately after a relaxing and slow vacation!

How can one waste time in the city , its alright to waste time in the town! ;-)

Home Town Small Town

I just came back from a trip to my hometown.

My hometown is actually a 2nd tier city. My house happens to be in the prime area - 10 min walk from most of places that I need to go.
During my recent trip, I enjoyed being able to walk to all the places that I had to go to. This pleasure was on 2 accounts- one is that the places were so close by and the other about the air being clean in enough to walk around. These are direct contrast to the city I live in. An associated point is that I have the time to walk to my destination rather than drive.

As I walked around the places which were previously my regular routes - school, friend's house, father's office, market, etc, a lot of thoughts came to me. The places had changed a lot, so had I. Yet there was something which had not changed at all. The town had a unique spirit which I understood instinctively and intuitively. Does this mean I belong to this town? I don't feel I belong there. My attitudes are different, I always knew that I was not going to live in that town forever. Yet I understand the place in a unique way. I feel that the Town has also accepted me in a unique way. I guess there is a part very deep inside me which connects me to my hometown which is a small town.
It is also the place where I started learning about life!

Ads

What do you think of Ads?

We have so many times cribbed of ads. Ads on TV, radio, internet, spam, on and on.
But don't you think there have been at least a few times that we have benefited from ads?

On TV, I have seen new products which have excited me and I have wanted to try them out. For ex, a new soap, a new kind of eatable (say chips), a new cereal or an entirely new product like an electronic mosquito swatter (what is available on the traffic junctions of Bangalore as Mosquito bats). Oh and what about the ads about the Sales which are on in the city?!
These are things i would not have known about if I had not seen the ads.

Today I signed up for Google AdSense. I thought long and hard about it before signing up for it.
The first impulse was to say I don't want ads on my page. Then I remembered the times that these ads have helped me.
Whenever I use the google search page. They also show the sponsored links. Believe me there have been times when those sponsored links have been more helpful than the search results.
Since then I keep wondering if it is a win win situation. They (and me) get revenue for the viewing of ads, the linked sites themselves may get business, while for the reader also it might help if thats what you have been looking for. As long as Ads don't come in the way of you doing whatever you want to do (like those pop up ones that actually block the visibility of the page itself! I hate those, some even follow you around!!), Ads are good.

I also think similarly of the tele marketing calls. If I am taking a nap and this call disturbs me, I am wild. But if I am free and they call about a offer. Well my hearing them out for 30 sec will earn them a good salary, so OK! That is such an easy way of supporting a whole industry. I have not registered in the Do not Call Registry for this sake.

Cross Roads

How many times in a journey do we come at cross roads, unsure of which one to take?
Maybe a few times, but they seem so many.
I encountered a few persons who are at cross roads recently.
Should I leave my well paying corporate job after 11 years to start up a company of my own?
Should I leave my corporate job for non profit work - development sector?
Should I join a job and give up my current start up initiative?
Should I join a 'regular' job and give up on my dream job?
Should I have s baby and take the risk of loosing a career?

One of the persons that I met over the weekend has been working in a prestigious MNC for 11 years and getting a good salary for some hard work. But the dream he always had was of starting a company. To go through the experience of preparing the soil, planting the seed, nurturing the seedling, protect it and see it grow, maybe even enjoy the fruits when it grows big enough to give you fruits. The dream was to work hard for something that is his, to take risk, strive and put effort to make something grow.
He has finally come to the day where he is ready with a draft of his business plan and has to send it people and approach for funding.
Would'nt you think that he will be excited that his dreams are finally coming true? Truth is he is feeling very insecure of what this is going to bring him. He is going away from something he knew. He has never failed in his life so far. Does that mean he will succeed here also? Or is that making him over confident? Life is fair right ? - atleast in an overall sense, so if he works hard for this, he should succeed.
What I hear in all this is the age old hesitation before the big leap.
The way I see it, there is no guarantee that life offers you in terms of success in a project or not. The end result is far away and dependent on a million things- too many of them beyond your control or even thought. What you have in hand is the process or means of achieving the result. Here you can do your best and thats it as far as assuring success goes.
Happiness will depend on how you feel throughout the process of achieving your goal. If you chose to define success in ways that don't really tug at your heart, you will spend a life time hankering after something you don't really want.
On the other hand if you go get a goal that your heart really desires, than you are working for your heart. If you put your best effort here- you are happy and satisfied at least till the result comes out . If you don't succeed, you will be disappointed for sometime. But you will not have spent a life time chasing the wrong thing.
Since, life does not guarantee success, as far as failing goes, better fail at something that you did really want than something that you never really wanted.

This leads me to the next question - which one is better - failing at something that you really wanted or succeeding in something that you never really wanted?



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Now playing: Unknown Artist - Track 6
via FoxyTunes

Friends

Yesterday, I met with a very good friend of mine. We also met up with a very good friend of my husband's - friend, wife and child.

It is interesting how friends mean different things and relationships grow.

My friend was moving out of the city. I ought to have been sad. Though we don't meet often, we are quite close and will miss at least the feeling that we cant meet whenever we want.
But I am excited as I hear her plans for moving. She is planning to move away from urban life to semi urban and then to rural life. She is idealistic, yet has a way of being realistic of her position and living her ideals. I am excited about this experiment of hers in her life. Quite an adventure. I want to learn about it through her. (Maybe I will do it sometime later in my own life, once I have figured what I want to do with my life)

On the other hand with the other friend or ours, though we are much more in touch with them, our plans for lives seem so different. While we are keen in achieving something in life, they seem to be keen on raising a family and enjoying a good family life. Their life revolves around their child and ours around our work. There seem to be few common topics.

In both cases, this 2 sets of friends - me and my friend, my husband and his friend, became friends when we shared a lot of common things - problems, goals, ideals. But over the years , we have grown. We have all grown in our own individual ways which take us towards different directions. Our desire of enjoying each others company seems to depend on how we share our ideas and more importantly how we listen to each other and support each other.

While I and my friend differ in what we want for ourselves in life, we are intrigued by each other's experiments and support in this process of experimentation. I am not keen on having children (as of now), she adopts a child out of a desire to do so. Are we different? Definitely. What do I think of her adopting a child - Great Move! What an brave decision! Imagine the amount of possible resistance from family. She has all my support.
When I start an initiative of my own - training youth in a Govt. School, consultancy job, etc. she goes - what a way of contributing to development, way to go girl!
Instead of this if we were on a trip of one oneupmanship , we would be going all out to prove to the other why what I am doing is more correct than yours. Any guesses on what that would bring us to?

Welcome to seeing Life!

Welcome all!

Life is happening all the time! Of all the things that are happening, one is me starting this blog today and welcoming you to take a peek at life with me.

The journey of a thousand miles starts with a step said Confucius. This first post in the fist blog of mine, I hope will be my first step in sharing my thoughts with the world.

The more that join me in this journey, the more interesting will be the journey!