The Most Amazing thing in the world - Free Will

Somebody brought this most stupid, circular logic question - If there is an omnipotent God/Goddess, can He/She create something that He/She cannot break. If not that He/She is not omnipotent and hence cannot be called God/Goddess. You would find this kind of farcical questions parading around as intellectualism in certain circles..and reducing the breadth of human experience to few sentences of circular logic... That story is for another day...

But think of it, is there something God created that is so beautiful in itself that even He would not /could not break..

I believe it is called " Free Will" . It is the one thing that Humans can boast of. It is one thing that can be created in human beings and once created well, it can withstand even God, according to legends.

It is true that most of the times we only believe, we are acting out of free will. While in reality we are controlled by a number of forces - upbringing, social media, marketing, financial forces, and so on. Most of our decisions get influenced because of these. Yet, free will can be nurtured. It is the stuff of heroism. It is the epitome of what a human can be. Remember - Rocky movies ! Greek legends of Titans, Hercules, Arjuna of Bhagvad Gita, Bhagiratha who brought Ganges onto Earth.

In the process of a human being becoming aware of himself/herself, then making conscious choices, being tested on them, developing the will to stand up for the choices, maturing from brashness to sensitive... this is the evolution of a single human being. In itself so beautiful and amazing that I am sure God would want to witness it rather than interfere in it! In fact He/She would have ensured they created it in a way that they wouldnt be able to interfere even if they wanted !

Note - The reference to God/ Goddesss is to only make the point about Will. Beliefs about God, theology about God/Goddess is very wide and the above post uses only the most superficial one about being ominpotent to make its point.

A daily shower for the mind

Recently a conversation came up where a friend was complaining about no time to spend on meditation or similar practices everyday. Whose got the time everyday for it?

That made me ponder. While I am convinced on its  necessity, what do I compare that 15min with to check if it is worth it or not. This led me to ask the question - How much time do you spend on grooming everyday? Include the things done throughout the day like adjusting /changing clothes, combing, washing hands, faces to appear respectable. Don’t include professional need like for models or actors.

An average corporate employee spends on an average about 2 hours at the minimum everyday on grooming. This includes brushing, shower, shaving/hairdrying, clothes, stuff like deodorant, combing, creams and through the day stuff like the time spent setting clothes right, changing multiple clothes through the day, etc.

Grooming is also very important as it is expected that you take care of your appearance, that you maintain a standard of hygiene (that includes smell). A couple of centuries ago this was not so. But today, it is expected that we look a certain degree of good look, atleast look like you have put effort to make yourself look a certain way that is gentlemanlike/ladylike. We commonly call this grooming or upkeep.

A little higher income, you are expected to take care you your weight, fitness, 6packs, brands and colours of your clothes and accessories etc. Even higher incomes, worry about the wrinkles, facelifts , implants and so on.

This being stated, it becomes easy to ask the question how much time do spend everyday in the upkeep of your mind – your intellect, your emotions and other inner processes.  15 min?

What the equivalent of a shower to you mind? Do you do it everyday?

If you don’t take your physical shower for a few days, people notice. A few more days, they may keep a distance from you.

How about your shower for the mind?

Pativrata or Kanya?

Pativrata

 A Partivrata is a chaste woman who have taken the vow of ‘pativratam' who sticks to her Partivrata Dharma, even at the risk of her own life. Who is faithfully devoted to her husband, who she worships him as a lord and who serves him with all her heart, mind and soul.

 Now coming to the special religious duties of the married ladies. Those married ladies, who are our followers, should serve their husband by treating him like God despite the abuses received from them or their disabilities like blindness, sickness, poverty or impotency. They should not say pinching words to them. ¹

The excerpt above is from the website of Swami Narayan sect[1] extolling ‘Stree Dharma’ in which it talks about Pativrata. Swami Narayan sect is one of the most powerful Hindu sects in India. One can safely say that this is the predominant understanding of ‘Pativrata’.  This is also a perception that has set expectations of a woman in India. While I have yet to meet a woman in my generation who thinks of her husband as  a Lord to be followed blindly, there are lots of examples where relationships are ruined because this expectation that is assumed of the woman by husband, family and society.

One look at the words from the excerpt, any one can understand the reservations of women to be a Pativrata.

Such is the perception of the word ‘Pativrata’ . As we explore the psychological and mythological history of the word, we can explore what gives it this reverence. Why it came to be so?

In the Hindu mythology of the country, eulogized women are invariably ‘Great Pativrata’ irrespective of whether they are ‘chaste’, virgin, loyal, etc. In fact it is almost as if no other quality of a woman is a appreciated. While there are references of capability in several areas, respect exists only for her Pativrata.  Biggest example of this is of Anasuya – Hailed as one of the greatest Pativrata, there is no mention of her great wisdom, statesmanship, etc. Draupadi is noted for dharma towards 5 husbands but not of her education, courage, intellect,etc.

Further as we explore into the next level of complexity, there is  one major googly that is interesting and insightful to explore and personally most meaningful to me.

The famous sloka for extolling what we call ‘Pativrata’ is the following

Sanskrit transliteration
ahalyādraupadī sītā tārāmandodarītathā।
pañcakanyāḥsmarennityaṃmahāpātakanāśinīḥ ॥

English translation
Ahalya, Draupadi, Sita, Tara and Mandodari
One should forever remember the panchakanya who are the destroyers of great sins

A variant replaces Sita with Kunti ^[[2]]

Note the following in this sloka –

1.     The women are identified as ‘kanya’ i.e virgin even though they are married and sometimes with children

2.     Each has been with/ possessed by/ cast upon by more than one man.

3.     Though most are mothers, their motherhood is hardly the subject of discussion

4.     The choice of the man they are with is not often in their hands.

The other satis or Pativratas (they are quite synonymously used in several places in mythology) are –

1.     Anasuya

2.     Arundhati

3.     Parvathi

4.     Savitri

These are extolled for their devotion to their husband as wives and for their greatness in relation to his. –

1.     Anasuya – famed for transforming the Trimurtis to babies so she can feed them bare bodied by the power of her pativrata, she got her husband the 3 Gods as children, fulfilling his major penance on it.

2.     Arundhati – wife of Sage Vasishtha , one of the Saptha rishis, she is considered the idea to follow for chastitiy, conjugal bliss, devotion. She is respected and worshipped at par with the saptharishis.

3.     Parvathi – woke up Shiva with her Tapasya for him and earned her way to be his wife in a manifested form.

4.     Savitri – brought her husband back from death by following Yama, her pativrata being capable of influencing ‘fate’ itself

-        All are with respect to their husbands.

-        All have put effort in finding/being with their husbands/ done tapasya

Despite this, it is the 'Panchkanyas' whose ‘remembering’ is deemed to remove sins.

Based on the above and in relation to Jungian principles of Anima, Animus, Self and Individuation, what appeals to me is this perspective –

It seems that the famed Pativratas or Satis represent the highest feminine in conjunction to its Masculine. Their marriage to their spouses seems to have been sought by them and the marriage itself to have taken place after a lot of effort, what the myths call tapasya. In this process they seem to have approached individuation and met their animus within. This, then manifested into their husbands outside to whom their marriage is complete. (In the case of Anasuya, information is there only of her tapasya along with her husband to have sons like the Trinity, no information on how she came to be married to Atri). This marriage to their manifested animus seems to show up in great strength to their ability to enhance the lives of their husbands. As if their Shakti enhances their vision.

A Sanskrit maxim on inference indicates this with great beauty –

Arundhutīdarśananyāyaḥ (IAST: अरुन्धतीदर्शनन्यायः), used in the meaning of inferring the unknown from that which is known.

The context to this is that – The Arundhati star is only faintly visible. The way to see it is to first look for the Sapta Rishi stars, then in that to the Star of Vasishtha and beside it you will know where is Arundhati star.

In the current context, the meaning I make is that what is visible is Sage Vasishtha’s greatness, but on careful examination you will know that it is brightness is added to by the Arundhati’s brilliance.

This very beautifully captures the beautiful relationship possible between the masculine and feminine. The clear vision of the masculine powered by the energy ‘Sattva” of the Feminine as Sati.

But as is clearly seen in mythology as well as reality, this is a rare exception. More common are the struggles of women to find their animus figures within, the painful journeys that this involves of the animus being projected on more than one man and having to painfully find it within. It is this journey that is indicated by the Panchakanyas. Here are women who find themselves married to men, not always of their choice. Then as they learn to love, respect and devote, they go through various hurdles – from multiple husbands, deception, kidnapping, husbands not listening to their Dharma, being given to other men, etc. They are now in the position of having to find their true animus within, in the confusion of the relationships and circumstances outside.

Sanskrit sloka transliteration

ahalyādraupadī sītā tārāmandodarītathā।

pañcakanyāḥsmarennityaṃmahāpātakanāśinīḥ ॥

English translation

Ahalya, Draupadi, Sita, Tara and Mandodari

One should forever remember the panchakanya who are the destroyers of great sins

A close examination-

1.     Ahalya – created as the most beautiful, given to be raised by Gautma, she is then asked to marry him. With different versions of stories indicating different levels of complicity, she is found to be with Indra who is disguised as Gautama. She is then asked to take up penance for it. This penance is lifted when Rama meets her after Vishwamitra extols her virtues and takes Rama to her.

2.     Draupadi – She spends a lifetime of penance to get the husband who is good at all important qualities, but then is forced to marry 5 men who together meet that criteria ( is that 5 criteria that of her perfect animus?), of whom her slight preference is the primary winner of her hand, Arjuna. Regardless of this, she has to keep Pativrata to all 5 failing which she will be considered a whore.

3.     Sita – Adopted by one the greatest monarchs in mythology and raised as a princess, she marries Rama with all devotion and follows him into the forest seeking to partake of his life. Captured by Rama’s shadow, Ravana, she prays for the victory of Self  over Shadow( Rama is her symbol / bridge to Self/God). But questions about her chastity and desertion by Rama force her to look for the Animus and Self as distinct from the symbol of Rama. This is seen in her composure and preassumable self work in Valmiki’s ashrama where she gives birth and raises Lava, Kusha

4.     Tara – Wife of Vali, Sugriva, Vali and Sugriva again. Her duty toward husband and her duty toward her kingdom as a queen demanded her always to go beyond her wishes and transform the situation with her wisdom. Her integrity to her Animus within, is clearly reflected when she counsels Sugriva to help Rama to find Sita quickly and stop wasting time. Till such a time, she is seen to be in a helpless position being claimed as a prize, her advice not listened to by Vali, her husband being unfairly taken away by circumstances, etc.

5.     Mandodari – A famed princess married by womanizer Ravana. Her integrity is to Dharma more than Ravana. While there are other examples of Asuras[3], who have Pativrata wives, it is only Madodari who is considered a Pancha kanya. This is possibily an indication towards the integrity to her own animus within as indicated by her following her Dharma rather to the husband Ravana outside. Information on her journey to this state is not available to me.

6.     Kunti – Variations of the sloka put Kunti in the place of Sita. Again she is married to one of the lesser Kaurava princes, has to go through the pains of un wed pregnancy and begetting sons from different Gods. She even bargains for one son’s wife against another. Only reason seems to be her sense of Dharma rather than any particularly selfish reason.

In all these stories of Pancha Kanya – they are loyal to the animus within rather than the husband outside. This can be seen in sense of holding themselves, their dignity despite the circumstances; like a Lotus leaf in water.  There seems to be a quiet dignity alight in each irrespective of their Circumstance. As if a lamp is burning within that lights them, guiding through their very human fallacies. It seems to be this light within that is recognised as their virginity and the belief that these women's remembrance can vanquish sin.

The journey to this position however does not seem to have been easy.

While the man's journey is clearly marked by Herculean tasks and mazes with tests for valour and bravery, the journey of Pathivrata a test of their love, affection & loyalty to husband. The journey of the Panchakanyas is a bit more complicated. One factor seems to be the challenge of having to tame ID and Ego to allow Dharma to lead from within.

In conclusion, some highlights for me are that Hindu mythology[4] indicates the journey of a woman to be through taming of the Id and Ego for allowing of her Dharma to blossom out. This Dharma is often with the connotation of Divine Duty ordained by the Self and given clarity by the Animus. This animus is arrived at by journey often painful and involving more than one man. When the Dharma is clear and the woman completely devotes to it, her capability, stature, etc is equal to that of the greatest sages or Gods.

In this aspect of hers, a woman is highly revered and sought. However this has denigrated to an expectation of service to the husband in modern times.  If a woman can be this great source of Shakti, which man would not want to his wife to become one, even though he does not understand what it really means and demands.

---

[1] From website http://www.swaminarayan.info/femalesatsang/Display.asp?bookID=4 , a page on Stree Dharma of Shree Swaminarayan Sampraday

[2] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Panchakanya#cite_note-apte-4

[3]  Vrinda , wife of Jalandhara and Tulasi, wife of Shankachuda. Both were violated by Vishnu taking the form of their husbands. Till then their Asura husbands are protected by their chasity. But these women are not venerated as Pativratas only as favorites of Vishnu.

[4] While the following essay is focused on Hindu Mythology in India, there are parallels in western stories – Beauty and the beast, Cindrella, Helen of Troy, Joan of Arc, St Mary, etc

Why women like to Shop?

I guess nobody with access to TV / newspapers can avoid being the target of the ads of ecommerce sites like Flipkart, Myntra, Snapdeal, etc. As the business world is finding new ways to use to sell to us - websites, FB, apps and so on, they are basically trying to use women love for shopping. Right! everybody know that! So whats new?

I have had my fair share of shopping. The kind I love is when I dont really need anything - then there is not pressure to buy this only or that only, by this time, etc. Then I can really look, those flea markets or shops where they put the clothes on a lot and you look and look for that right one for a right deal! Yes! Got it!

Yesterday I was out on a walk in a farm and here was a tree with lovely star berries. Lots of them fallen on the ground over the past days. So I foraged for nice ripe ones, unbroken ones, clean ones.... All from so many of them spread out on the ground. I did not particularly need them, but they were so yummy and wonderful to pick them out and eat the fresh berries. 

It took the 6th one for the penny to drop! I was foraging for the berries just like I was looking for clothes in a flea market. The same way women in the right through time would have looked for things - the car keys , kids socks, the right top in a bunch of tops at a store, fruits as a snack, fruits to supplement the meal as a cavewoman and so on. 

 As I thought more about it seemed one of those innate abilities that we are born with it.  A lot has been said and written that women are better at finding things around in the house because over thousands of years we evolved an ability to search. Starting from foraging for food as cave women. In modern times, this seems to be applied in shopping.  So even while we might not need the new pair of shoes or dress, searching and getting a good deal is a high that every shopaholic knows. Maybe that high comes from a mental pattern whose roots like with the ancient cave women.....

Learning, Thinking/ Feeling and Living

There are so many instances when we are able to understand things but find it difficult to implement them. Thinking and talking about things like 'speaking the truth' are so easy. Everybody know that they are to be done. One can go to great lengths to discuss about its pros and cons, feeling passionately about it, etc, but living it as a everyday affair is the biggest challenge.

Based on my recent experience of learning to drive a car, I get the following comparison -

Once gear is in position (a plane of thinking), then the clutch (thinking) has to be eased out and the accelerator (living it / practise of it) eased in to have a smooth movement.

Each time we come across a new concept to grapple with ( a different gear), we switch to our dominant way of processing it - thinking or feeling (the clutch). Then internalise the concept (change the gear), then we have to slowly and consciously bring it into daily practice (easing out the clutch and easing in the accelerator).

Hopefully we learn the process and are able to be become faster learners and implementers! I am sure we can do that!

Thieves in a posh apartment complex!

 Today morning, the security guard in my apartment came up to my huband (who is the president of the Owner's association) and told that 6 thieves had come in the dead of the night. They had tried to steal things. Hearing some sound, the night watchman went to see what was up. Seeing him they ran away across the compund taking some of the loot and leaving back some. What was the loot? -They took a metal hatch/ covering, left behind some clothes and a plastic chair. This was the stuff they could lay hands on and out of which they took the most valuable one.

Soon after the association got into a swing, established links with people who could put a taller fence / raise the compound wall, put in CCTV cameras, etc.

Who are these people who came inside the compound to steal? Looking at what they were trying to steal, it is quite obvious that they were amateurs, desperate men trying to get their hands on whatever they can, maybe make a quick buck. It is quite evident that the thieves dont rely on this for a living, simply because it is insufficient for a living. Also for such small thefts, they are unlikely to have paid for transport and come from a distance (rember the cost of petrol!). These are more likely to be some desperate men from the neighbourhood. 

As I say that these must have been men from the neighbouhood, it would sound illogical to a westerner, because I say in the title that this is a posh apartment building. But an Indian would have no problem in grasping the situation. Why? Every Inidan knows that there are ghettos next to posh areas. Slums, construction sites, you name it. 

This isolated, yet side by side living very poor and the very rich is what hits me hard!

In India , every rich neighbourhood has a poor neighbourhood nearby from where blue collared workers often come to work in the rich homes. These people from the ghetto often are very jealous. Though they behave quite well most of the time, at times, like when they are drunk, or hard hit by poverty, they are prone to letting out these jealousies through acts of violence, theft, stone thorwing, etc. To say that they are violent people is to get the perspective completely wrong.

Most likely, anyother person, you or me are also likely to be doing similar things in simlar situations. Most often, the rich in these situations, know that they are richer and could become rich more easily that these 'other' people. The presence of the poor, reminds one of what things can become if they dont do whatever they are doing to be rich. Their presence reminds them, that they are not doing anything to alleviate this condition and causes guilt. The desperateness of the poor, makes them fearful of the poor. Without having guts to face this situation, they repress this entire problem into the uncounscious. Acting out of ununderstood fear, they dominate and are tyrannical with their servants.

Treating them as less than humans is another common expression of this unconscious process. Fearing them, we project all our anger and violence on them. We think that we are not generally angry, we are not generally violent but 'these  people' are angry, violent, they have carnal desires, have animal tendencies and so on. Every one of us has a portion of these tendencies just like them. Instead of owning them, we project it on them. We conlude that they have these 'animal' tendencies, we are more refined. So we are the helpless victims, we need to protect ourselves with taller walls and fences, employ other people (from the same poor community) to protect us. As if we are in the wilderness surrounded by wild animals.

How much of it is a fear of beast within us? How much of it an act of repression of our guilt?

Life and Balance

Everybody is aware of the great divide that exists in India. India and Bharat. A lot has been said on this. Many lamentations.
This time I am getting to experience it first hand.
Do you belong to India or Bharat?

I am working in both. I am working in a start up which is taking on the idea and technology of an NGO and creating a business model to make it into a profitable venture and thus invite resources and grow. On one side of me is the people from the rural based NGO and on the other the enthusiastic people from modern India. Their language, attitudes, motivations, methods of working are so different.
One does it out of a desire to help people, improve their lives, evangelize the program, etc. In the process he gives away patentable technology in ways that don't help to grow. He will never have enough money to invest into R and D, to expand, publicize, etc. Often leaves a less than happy experience for the customer because of lack of professionalism.
On the other hand are the VCs and the architects of the growth of modern India. These people work in the IT age. Everything on the net, laptops in hand, PPTs, excel sheets.. They have the vision to think big and risk big too. They bring in the efficiency that gives cutting edge to any organisation. But where is the heart? The heart that beats and has a place in a person's life. The heart in you and the heart that recognizes the emotions of the person opposite. Professionalism can some time take the spirit out of an initiative.

For me, I am part of both the worlds. I have a heart that speaks the loudest and a brain that takes over the execution of tasks. I cannot live without either of them. I am a part of both the worlds. Living in one without the other is an incomplete life.

Taking on from this I talked to a couple of people in IT companies. They slog hard, close to burn out point. If they spend their weekends in the malls everytime, life becomes automatised in no time. No spirit left.
The change comes when, they do some other things like - nature activites - trekking, travel, photography, bird watching or social service activities like volunteering time with children, etc.
Unless one can balance one extreme, harmony is lost.
The bridge between the 2 worlds is in us.